I look at pictures of myself and think, is that really me? Am I really that fit and have that Roxy Girl body I have always wanted? Have I actually defeated the scale? Wait….is that really me?

I have lost 77LBS over the last 3 years and 45Lbs of that has been in the last 9 months since starting to train with Dan.

The negative self-talk I have had to overcome in the last 9 month has been my biggest battle. The amount of times Dan has complement me on my progress and my reaction would be to instantly down play it, was staggering. The negativity and low self-esteem was so engrained in me and had become who I was that it took working on changing it each and every day, even every hour. I learned to take each day at a time and start focusing on my journey rather than the end result. We are part of a generation that wants everything now and when it comes to your personal fitness journey, it just doesn’t happen now! It takes time, effort and determination and because of those there key factors I had to put aside the need for “now” and focus on today. This was another major mental change that I had to make to succeed in my journey.

Believe you me, I had many bad days. If you are on your own fitness journey, you are not alone in these bad days. I have cheated many times with ice cream, chips and McDonalds. I would eventually admit to Dan of these sad truth and he would say to me “Today is a new day, make today count”. With the constant positive, uplifting and encouraging words from my coach I was able to let go of that self-guilt and move on. My mind had to change from “Well I ate poorly yesterday so who cares if I do again today” to “Today is a new day and I am going to do my best”.

And then there were good days where I would kill my work out, eat clean and feel great. I would call Dan to tell him how well I had done and we would rejoice. I remembered when I first started this journey in January 2015, I ran my stairs in my house and was able to do 10 rounds of 2 flights in 30 minutes. I called Dan so happy and he was nothing but positive and encouraging. Looking back on that time, that is nothing compared to what I can do now but it was where I had to start to get where I am today. Although these were small feets for me, Dan was always happy about my accomplishments.

I would strongly suggest getting a work out partner or a strong support system as you go through your journey. They will be there with you to rejoice in your victories and to listen on your bad days and ultimately encourage you to keep going.

Along with a good support system I developed a mantra for my fitness journey.
I am Fit, I am Healthy, I love me.
I have said this countless times I am I running the last 2K to my 10K run, as I am dying in the gym training with Dan for the last 15 minutes of our 2 hour work out and as I am fuelling my body with healthy foods rather than eating junk because of it tastes good.

The way you speak and think to yourself will define who you are. Make that change today, develop your own mantra (Heck take mine) and say it often so you start to believe it. It all comes down to your mind. Once your mental game is in check, the rest will fall into place. You need to believe you can do it.

Not only was my mental talk a major obstacle that I faced, the scale was also. I had to put it away. I started 90 day game plans with Dan. We would set up my meal plan, my work outs and do my measurement and weight at the start of the 90 days and I was strictly not allowed to weigh in for the full 90 days. I actually had to take the battery out of the scale so I would not be tempted. Take a minute to read Dans blog, “Its not about the number” because that couldn’t be more true. You can see from the picture below that I weighted 170LBS in 2007 and weigh 185LBS in August 2015 and look at the difference. Its really about your fitness and nothing to do with your number. PUT YOUR SCALE AWAY and focus that energy on eating clean and working out. You will notice a difference.

My Journal Blogs are titled Made New because I truly have been made new. Dan and I are both Christians and our faith is foundational to who we are. Over the last couple of years, I have seen God working in my life, taking me apart piece by piece to make me a new creation. I have had a rough go for the last couple of years but I don’t like focusing on that or even talking about it, I like to focus my energy on all the changes that I have seen and how God is Making me New. Not only is God working on my heart and healing from the inside but through the changes I have made in my fitness life I can say that I am being Made New on the outside also.

This fitness journey has just started for me. I am 9 months in and still have a good year to go to get to my new homeostasis and truly lead a healthy life style. I will still have those bad days, sneak those chocolate bars and deal with negative self-talk but it’s a day by day journey.

Thank you to everyone for your kind words, constant support and prayers. They are the best form of motivation!

This is my story, what’s yours? 
Please leave me a comment below or send Dan an email (which he will forward to me) if you have any questions, want to tell me your story or are looking for accountability. I would love to hear from you. 

May 2014
So I met this guy online, super cool, very good looking, outgoing and loves life. We started talking and became fast friends. He’s really into the gym, so not my life. We talk all the time and seem to have a lot in common. He’s such a cool guy, never negative and always happy. He calls me Miss Tiff and I call him Danner…how cute! We seem to speak in a different way than with others in the dating world. It was easy and light, no pressure and always positive. I really don’t see an interest in dating on either side, its just nice to have good conversations with someone so positive.

I told him about this other guy I went on a date with that I am really not interested in. He gave me some good tips on how to say “I’m really not interested!” and it seemed to work! We really like getting each other opinions on dating and having the other person’s perspective. We talk occasionally but he has now mentioned he has a girlfriend so I am going to back off as I respect their relationship.


September 2014
Well summer has come and gone and Dan messaged me. He’s back on the market and seems to be showing a lot of interest in Miss Tiff. I really haven’t thought much of it because I really don’t see me as his type.


September 6th, 2014
I am on my way to meet my friend Dan, we are going for breakfast to an Egg Smart. This is the first time we will be meeting and it will be nice to meet the face behind the phone. Two friends, great convo and breakfast…what could be better?

Breakfast was great, we spoke about my career, his schooling, my daughter Capri, our families, what we think is in our future and everything in between. Breakfast ended and I was on my way to meet a guy for a fun date down town. Dan was adamant about nothing coming of this date because apparently he knew me so well! (That’s the last date I went on because shortly after, Danner and Miss Tiff started dating, but we are not at the point in the story yet!)
 

October 2014
I told him tonight that I am off to Jamaica with my bestie and he said to have a great time! We chatted each night while in Jamaica and I was able to fill him on the adventures we had for the day. By the end of the week my bestie said “Tiff, he totally likes you” and I denied it and said we are just good friends, “He’s just Danner”. So apparently I “Fell in love in Jamaica” (Not really) but while sitting in the airport waiting to leave I messaged Dan telling him that I met a boy!!! He played it off cool but deep down he was jealous (So he tells me later).

I am home now and missing the sun. Dan is messaging me about my day and asking how it is being home with Capri. I tell him I’m sad and missing Jamaica but love catching up with my daughter. Dan messaged back saying he missed me a lot while I was away and actually wanted to tell me something. At that moment my blood pressure sky rocketed…is he going to say what I think he is going to say? Yep…he totally did….he said he likes me and needs me to know before it was too late and I am snagged by another dude.

Wait …..WHAT! Dan likes me? Who would have thought!

After getting over the shock and of course digesting this new reality with my bestie I decided to meet Dan for dinner and a movie.


October 22nd, 2014
We had our first official date tonight, what a guy. He even opened my car door for me! Again, I see a difference in Dan, no pressure, just wants to spend time with me, is happy and people notice. It’s so refreshing to see his outlook on life and his love of life’s journey.


November 2014
We have been on a couple dates, they have all been really fun, he seems like a great guy. He really treats me with respect and always has my needs ahead of his own. My guards are coming down and I can see a future with him. Its hard for me to grasp how much he likes me. We shall see how this turns out!

My guards are fully down and Dan and I are officially dating. That progression seemed fast but I think that old saying goes “when you know you know”

Dan and I have great conversations and he loves to tell me about his time at the gym each day but he has never once mentioned setting up a meal plan for me, taking me to the gym, wanting to change me or my appearance. He loves me for me and I appreciate that very much. I have done this weight lose thing on my own for years, I don’t need a trainer, and besides they are so expensive.
 

November 22nd, 2014
I finally let go of my pride and asked Dan for a meal plan. I have lost 35lbs on my own over the last couple of years but obviously this guy knows what he is doing to look as good as he does. So why not try it out.

It took a lot for me to admit I needed and wanted his help. I had to work through a lot of self-talk and emotions to say, “Ya I’ll take your help”. I’m hoping with everything in me that this works this time. I have struggled with weight all my life, maybe this is finally the key.

Well, here’s hoping!

PS. He says he fell in love with me at breakfast 



This is just the first journal entry of my own fitness journey. Stay tuned as I tap into the emotional battles I have faced over the last 6 months, the painful self-talk I have had to change and the sweat I have pour out to get where I am today. I wanted you all to know the history behind Dan and I and our relationship as I feel it’s foundational to my fitness journey. Without him, I would not be where I am today.

Please leave me a comment below, I would love to hear from you!

These pictures are from when we first started dating Halloween night and November 2014